Saturday, March 26, 2011


Signs of Unhealthy BoundariesSigns of Healthy Boundaries
telling alltelling only as much as you can trust the other person to respect
talking at an intimate level at the first time meetingwaiting until you know a person before spilling your guts
falling in love with a new acquaintancecarefully selecting who you love
falling in love with anyone who reaches outmaking sure the person you love respects you
being overwhelmed and preoccupied with another personleading your own life
acting on the first sexual impulseenjoying the feelings of anticipation-practicing safe sex
being sexual for your partner's pleasure onlybeing sexual to enjoy the intimacy of giving and receving pleasure
going against personal values or rightshonoring your values even when it means losing a relationship
not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundariesnoticing when you start to feel uncomfortable by the lack of physical or emotional distance
not noticing when someone invades your boundariesasking someone that is too clost to step back either physically or emotionally
accepting food gifts or sex that you don't wantpolitely turning down offers that make you uncomfortable
touching another without askingtalking about how much touch is comfortable before you touch
taking as much as you can for the sake of gettinggiving for the sake of feeling good about yourself
giving as much as you can for the sake of givingenjoying receiving gifts that others offer
allowing someone to take as much as they can from yousetting limits that make you feel good about yourself
letting others direct your lifedirecting your own life and being responsible for your own decisions and choices
letting others define youknowing your own feelings, values, and limits
believing others can anticipate your needsrealizing that you must state your needs out loud
self abuseself care
expecting others to fill your needs automaticallyrealizing that no one, even someone who cares a great deal for you, can read your mind
falling apart so that someone can take care of youstanding strong for yourself
sexual and physical abuse towards otherssexual and physical respect towards others
fppd anise/eating disordereating healthy to stay well
not allowing another free permission to say noasking for what you want in a manner that allows the other person to feel okay to say no
basing your response on someone elses actionsbasing your response on you intuitions
having very short, intense relationshipsworking through problems so that relationships last for years
believing that a new relationship will be completely different from the pastrealizing that all relationships are based on patterns from your past-the trick is to recognize patterns and work through them
wanting a relationship so badly that you will compromise yourselfrealizing that you must love yourself first before anyone else can
always putting others needs ahead of yours or always putting your needs ahead of otherssometimes putting others needs ahead of your own and sometimes putting your needs first
believing that having a feeling means always acting on that feelingbelieving that having a feeling may be the first step, but there is always a choice of how to respond